Hey, girl, good morning. How are you? Rocking the day with a sparkle or a little fatigued today?
I’m in the latter category this morning. Up late arguing with husband. Always a good time. If you’ve been married for more than a month, I’m guessing you’ve been here.
So, yes, it sucked and was unpleasant and ate up many hours of what would have been sleep, but we ended in a better place, with a better understanding of each other and of ourselves, so that was good. Very good, actually.
But the getting there – oy.
Living a life entwined exclusively with one other person – nothing better, in my opinion, for us or our kids, but also so much work. So. Much. Work.
Here are my needs. What are your needs? Here is my energy. Do you have energy? Do you have energy for the laundry? I’ll trade you the laundry for the bills? No? Okay, I’ll do the bills and you do laundry and dog throw-up, deal? Yo! Fever of 104! Drop everything and call the doctor! You call, I’ll get the cool water and wash cloth! And romance. Romance? Um, how does Friday look for you?
It’s this constant negotiation and adjustment and to-and-froing on the fly, all while the kids are watching and learning what love is supposed to look like.
It’s pouring yourself out in generosity. It’s receiving gifts that may be different from what you expected. It’s communication and forgiveness and determination to make it work.
It’s like the deer’s line about coffee in Open Season: terrible and wonderful all at the same time.
So, if you are sparkly and high energy today, awesome, congrats and please enjoy every minute of it, Mamma, I love days like that.
If you, like me, are a little dragging and tired and spent from working on life today (or last night), then my heart goes out to you, and please know that you are not alone. Have an extra cup of coffee, darling, and breathe. And know, please know, that this is not disaster; it’s part of the dance.
The dance, the dance. The long, complicated, unexpected, substantial, funny, important, wonderful, life-long dance.
Love. It’s a verb.