Good morning, darling. How has your week been so far? I had a chance to talk with a lovely young woman over the last couple days and one of the things we talked about was what we women, as individuals, think we deserve. Wow. Such an interesting conversation.
Do you think you deserve good things? Are you strong in standing up for your own wishes and desires? Do you think you deserve to be treated with respect? After your little self-evaluation above, WHY do you think those things?
Do you ever call yourself pathetic? Why?
Do you ever call yourself a dummie? Why?
Do you make excuses for other people who are treating you badly? Stop it. Just stop it right now.
Yes, we are all different. Yes, there are different ways to live in and see the world. Yes, you have a right to your opinion, but if someone’s opinion is ripping into something I treasure and love, then I need to put a barrier up to protect myself from that person.
I am not perfect. There are wonderful, loving folks who have spoken the truth in love into my life, and they have helped me to be a better person. Constructive, loving conversation, sincerely concerned friends and family with gentle words is not what I am talking about here.
It’s the words-as-weapons I want you to protect yourself from. Someone who contemptuously or angrily cuts you down. That’s not loving or helpful, and you have my permission to step away from that.
And, wait, yes, husbands and wives do get angry, and every once-in-a-blue-moon we say something (or shout something) in anger we wish we could take back. And then we (BOTH!) apologize, we ask and give forgiveness, and we find a better way.
But, sister, if he is doing that sh*t weekly? Or, heaven forbid, daily? If he throws things, threatens harm to you, calls you names? You need to get away.
And how about the women in our lives who look at us with that snide face, you know the one, and say, “You do THAT??? Oh…” And a part of you withers, right there. Stay away from those girls, my love. Leave them to their poison.
If you want to stay home, stay home. If you want to work, work. If you want to camp for the weekend, camp. If you want to make your children homemade muffins for breakfast, do it. By God, you don’t have to make excuses for your life to anyone.
You are a beautiful, imperfect, amazing child of God. The mysterious Creator put you down here for a reason and that reason was not to be torn down, punished or disrespected.
Love yourself, as you love your children. That ought to do it.