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Can we talk for a minute about the difference between “I don’t want to” and “I can’t”?
“I don’t want to” is a perfectly legitimate response to any number of work-life possibilities. As in, “I don’t want to move to New Jersey” or “I don’t want to travel three weeks out of every four”. Making choices based on your values (and with no apologies!) is a rock-solid essential part of being a happy Working Mommy. “I don’t want to go to happy hour” is a particular favorite of mine.
“I can’t”, on the other hand, may be you underestimating yourself. It may be fear. It may be self-sabotage because somebody, somewhere told you that you weren’t worthy of that height of success. “I can’t” needs to be addressed.
What is it you want, but are afraid to go for? That’s a big question. If it’s fear keeping you from that goal, who in the world ever told you it was too big for you? Can you look back and tell them to take a leap?
You are CAPABLE of ANYTHING. It’s just whether or not you want the work that goes into achieving that particular goal.
By the same token, just because you are capable of something, doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it if it’s making you and your family miserable. If you don’t want something, don’t do it. But if you think you can’t, that needs some consideration.
Give it a thought today, Mamma. This career thing you are doing, it offers a lot. Intellectual challenge, positive feedback, safety net, it’s all there. Don’t short-change yourself because of fear.
Today, maybe, a quick self assessment? Where are you headed, and why? What would your dream job be, and are your current behaviors designed to get you there? If not, why not?
I feel so much affection for all the working mommies out there. I want the best for you, girl. Don’t go for the C-Suite just because you think it’s the only worthy goal. By the same token, don’t NOT go for it, just because you somehow think you’re not worthy.
Your season of life, your kids and husband’s needs, your partner husband’s ability and willingness to support your family and your home, your company’s respect for family as a legitimate value… and, so importantly, your own heart and gut, they all play a role in this decision making.
Decide for yourself. Give it a little thought today.