Good morning, darling. How are you? Hanging in there? Remember how you told me you feel like you “suck at everything” because you never get as much time to work as you need, and you never get as much time at home as you want? How is that going? Are you giving yourself more grace?
I know it gets tough sometimes. Boy do I know. Sitting-at-the-stoplight-crying I know.
Remember that no one gets an easy life. Remember that you are a whole person and that you are not meant or expected to be perfect.
I know you. You do great work. Your kids love you. You do more art projects (chances are) than my kids did with me. (I comfort myself that I read out loud to my kids in voices and accents, and we hiked so often that it became part of what-we-do, part of our family creed.)
Did you go to paper plates, like I suggested? The kids will think it’s hilarious. The environment will forgive you. I figure the paper plate pretty much equals the energy expended to heat the water and filter out the soap once it goes down the drain. It’s all good. And you’ll be sane, so there’s that.
Did you forgive yourself the unmade bed? I didn’t make my bed for decades. It didn’t bother me. Give yourself permission to let something go, it won’t all fit.
I was ecstatic to hear that you hired a cleaning lady. You were so apologetic about it. Honey, there is nothing wrong with getting some help cleaning the house. The woman you are paying probably appreciates the work, and you most certainly need the extra two hours in your week. Well done you, and no apologies. There is no commandment that says we must vacuum our own floors. Treat the woman helping you with gratitude and respect; she’ll appreciate that as much as she appreciates the money.
Keep your core values in mind, like, front of mind. Filter everything through those. Does this make my family stronger? Does this bring me joy? Does this make me feel safe?
Do you want to play in the dirt with your kid, even though the laundry isn’t done? PLAY WITH YOUR KID. You can throw one load in overnight. Seriously; whose laundry is ever done?You have my permission to say no to the things that drain you and you have my permission to say yes to the things that bring you joy.
Because we do this life thing one time. One precious go round.
It’s more than a little messy, and it can get a little hairy at times, but it can also be so very good. Not perfect, love, no, not perfect. But life doesn’t have to be perfect, to be wonderful.