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The massive project at work that was supposed to launch Monday, didn’t. On hold for a month, or more. Not my department’s error, but still, I got massively geared up, and now I get to wait.
My Dad had a stroke, well two, possibly three. He’s not going to die, we’ve cleared that hurdle, now we wait and see how much function he gets back.
So, I worked from home all week, waiting for the company to regroup and redirect my department’s efforts. I took time off to go up north to visit Dad, talked with my sister, my mom. And I looked at my life. How can I not? All this enforced down time, all this quiet and dealing with the possible end of a life so dear to me?
My girlfriend’s breast cancer recurrence came back as low risk, a celebration in an otherwise difficult week. Emotional roller coaster.
Life is messy, isn’t it?
I spent a couple days walking around like a stunned person (no surprise, I was a stunned person). I called colleagues and girlfriends. I went for a walk with my mom. I cleaned the bannisters (really, I did).
Here’s what I came to this morning.:
“What I have always been: A writer, a giver, a dancer, a hard worker. And who I’ve become: A mom, a wife, a scientist. And a baker. And an owner of dogs. How to fight what I don’t like? The fear? How to set down the baggage, so heavy, that I’ve carried for so long? God. Courage. Forgiveness.”
When uncertainty rocks your world, I hope you too can clear out the fog and focus in on who you are, what you know to be true. It’s a good time to pause in the busy and take a look.
And I hope that you too will fight the fear, set down the baggage that has weighed you down, and see clearly what matters, what you love.
Courage. Courage to keep moving forward. To trust that there is a destination, a reason. To remember that giving has value, your work, your love, your generosity, precious treasure.
To love and be loved, no matter what the world throws at you.