Monday, Monday. Here we go. Did you have a lovely weekend, Mamma? We let the kids stay up late to watch the lunar eclipse, a great excuse to sit on our front porch in the dark, and talk and wonder and snuggle for an hour. So nice…
I’m thinking this morning about a conversation I had this weekend with a woman at church who is deciding to give up her work and stay home full time; she is so excited, but was feeling a little guilty for choosing not to work. That conversation came almost a week to the day after a conversation I had with another woman who confessed to excitement that she is going back to work after years of staying home because she thought staying home was the right thing to do. And three days after a conversation with two women, one of whom couldn’t wait to get back to work after the birth of her daughter (she felt guilty too), the other who took significant time off from her (very big, very fancy, very high-paying job) to adopt three kids.
Choices. Lives. Personalities, strengths and weaknesses. Options.
We are all so different. We were created differently, we are handed different situations, we have different desires. Not all of us who want to stay home can. Not everyone who wants work can find a job. Some kids need more mothering than others.
Here’s what we all have in common: We love our kids, we are trying to do our best in life. As a mom, as a worker, as a wife.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you “have to” or “should” do your life this way or that way. Talk to your heart, your husband, your kids, your God. Know what is right for you. And, to the best of your ability, with the choices available to you, build a lovely life. No guilt. You know what you need; you know what your family needs.
There is no one perfect option, there are many ways to do this well.
Build beauty and love and meaning, to the best of your ability, every day. If there is no beauty or love or meaning, change something. If there is too much pain, change something. You get to. You are the pilot of your life.
The new feminism – the power to direct our own lives, to build what works for us and for our families, the power of choices.
Fair warning, somebody somewhere will tell you it is the wrong choice. But as I tell my kids: Know who you are, and know why you are who you are. And it bears repeating: there are many ways to do this well.
Go build it, Mamma.