This morning, when my alarm went off at 4 AM, I turned to my husband and said, “The kids will be spending the night with Grandma and Grandpa in a few weeks. I need you to plan a date night for us, and I need it to be romantic.”
My husband said something like, “MMMFGRG… HUH? What?”
I repeated myself.
“Ok”. He said.
I will need to lovingly repeat my request later today, and probably again in a few days. And I’ll get my date night.
My husband, my wonderful man, is many things, but he is not the kind of guy who will notice an opportunity for romance and plan accordingly. For me to wait for him to be that guy would be an exercise in frustration for both of us. For me to wait till the day, hoping silently that he had noticed and planned something, and then storming around the house in a huff because he hadn’t, waiting for him to notice how upset I was, punishing him for not noticing… this kind of childish drama wrecks relationships and marriages.
So, instead, I ask for what I need.
My man does dishes, legions of them. He makes dinners – good dinners, really good dinners. He drives to Walgreen’s in the middle of the night for Pedialyte when our children are throwing up. He is a good, hard-working, faithful man. Why would I want to punish a man that good, for what he is not?
But, I do need romance, so I ask.
Because then he can then easily understand what I need, and fill that need for me.
If you married a fish, appreciate his wonderful fishy-ness. Be grateful for all the good things your fish brings to your relationship. But, if you married a fish, don’t waste your time or your marriage wanting him to be a bear.
Date night. If you need it, ask.
And dishes and dinners, if you need those, ask for those too.
Simple, direct, straight to the point, and, I would hope, lovingly requested. Let your man know what you need.
Happy date night, Mamma.