Happy Friday, Mamma! You did it. Looking forward to the weekend?
I keep thinking about the phrase ‘everyday heroics’ in thinking about my husband this morning. He is a hero in life-changing, massively courageous, and totally unsung ways.
It’s our son’s birthday today. We have a tradition of filling the kid’s rooms with balloons when it’s their birthday. Husband and I got home from our umpteenth beginning-of-school-year orientation last night at around 10 pm. This is half an hour after I usually go to bed, and it had been a productive, but massively stressful day for me personally and professionally. As we pulled into the driveway I gasped, “Balloons!” I realized we still had at least an hour of work ahead of us before we could go to bed.
“No, honey, I’ve got this.” He said. When I protested, he pointed out that he is the night owl between us, that he could see I was utterly spent, and that me making myself sick by staying up to blow up balloons would in no way be good for our family.
I woke up this morning at 4:00 and came downstairs to make my coffee. Peeked at kid, balloons are there, check. The kitchen is also clean and there are cinnamon rolls in the kitchen that weren’t there last night. Husband must have done a midnight grocery shop to get kiddo his favorite breakfast treat.
My husband won’t land on the cover of any newspaper or magazine for the gift he gave us last night. He won’t get a medal from President Obama, or a shout out from John Boehner as having done anything extraordinary. None of his buddies will slap him on the back and say, “You da MAN” because he put his family first in these lovely small ways last night.
They should. These everyday heroics require tremendous strength.
Every day, our men give up the chance to be a selfish single guy; every day they make these little sacrifices for us. And it is this unsung, ongoing, extraordinary and, for the most part, invisible daily giving that builds our families and our marriages into something beautiful.
Doing the dishes, even though he never saw his father do them. Letting our daughter put bows in his hair. Folding laundry, making dinner, shoveling snow. (Neither Thor nor Iron Man are ever pictured doing those things, are they?) Reading out loud to the kids instead of watching the game. Helping at soccer practice instead of going on his own workout. Generosity.
I need to thank him. I need to let him know today that I notice, and that I am massively grateful for every little thing. To tell him that I know our lives would not be as good as they are without his everyday sacrifices. And yes, I sacrifice too, but the point here isn’t to keep score, the point is to thank my got-your-back for being there.
I think I’ll start with a kiss over hot cinnamon rolls this morning.
Date night – a time to say thank you.